It was January 2020 and we were making our way home from a business training session in Malaysia when the initials rumblings of a virus outbreak began to make headlines. We didn’t give much thought to news because it seemed far enough away from the comforts of our day-to-day living. Even when J and I were on the bus in Singapore and a stranger ominously whispered in my ear to stay away from the aquarium we were about to visit because, “there were people there who have had the virus! I wouldn’t go there!” I thanked him for his advice but we went about our day.

Fast forward to March when Husband is due to travel for the second business session and we are understanding that the virus has, in fact, travelled closer and flights/locations were shifting and changing, at times by the hour. Husband went back to Malaysia only to have this trip cut short and to return on the FINAL flight that was leaving that particular city…. It was our first direct experience with the seriousness of how this new virus would affect the world over.

Having our family unit intact made it okay. We were going to ride this thing out together. Life for us would stay relatively normal. Or maybe not!

Once the pandemic began to grow worldwide, we had to acknowledge that this wasn’t just a small outbreak or an easily controlled issue. Instead, we watched as the world began to grapple with a virus that would spread quickly, wreck havoc on millions of people, and bring this incredible planet to a halt. Countries were going in to lockdown, travel was being discouraged, PPE was the hottest commodity, and country leaders were begging for their nationals to come home before the borders closed for good.

I remember listening to PM Trudeau pleading with Canadians abroad to “Please, come home,” and we were shocked. Do we stay? Do we go? What was the best option for our family?

We stayed.

For the comfort and consistency that our kids thrive on, we stayed. And we are still okay with that decision. But it certainly wasn’t without consequence.

Month after month the government in our country began to implement major restrictions. At times we were completely unable to travel, even locally. Other times you could move from place to place but with the required testing beforehand. If you weren’t claustrophobic at the beginning of this whole thing, you were by the end. Having your freedom of movement restricted causes anxiety and fear. You become a helicopter Mother, Wife, Friend to everyone. You take extra, sometimes unnecessary, precautions because you wouldn’t want to deal with the “what ifs”.

I remember the first time I went to the grocery store after a major lockdown in our city. It was after the first surge of cases were appearing locally. I went to the ATM and after taking out cash, I quickly scrubbed everything with hand sanitizer. I went to the grocery store, did my typical haul, and then lined up at the checkout. Then it hit me like a bus….

I panicked. My heart rate spiked, I was sweating profusely, and I could not catch my breath. I had a couple of panic attacked before but nothing this public. Tears were in my eyes and I was stuck.

I’m no longer a slave to fear. I am a child of GOD

I whispered those words behind my mask until I was sitting in the car with Husband again. It was then realized that we were entering in to a season that would shake us. I wasn’t sure how that would look or what exactly would transpire, but I knew that in my spirit, this was going to take purpose and intention to walk through until we got through to the other side; whatever that looked like!