If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.

The above quote is one of my favourites by the incomparable Maya Angelou. It carries such wisdom in so few words. And yet, it is also a profound challenge; the art of changing our attitude in light of uncontrollable change.

It had been several years since we have been home in Canada for the purpose of sharing our vision, heart, and plans with people. Yes, while we had been to Canada in 2017 to have our second child and again in early 2018 for training and conferences, those quick turnaround trips often cause more stress than reprieve. And we wanted to spend time with our families free of the struggles we had experienced in those couple of years. So, with much excitement we began to plan our travels from Southeast Asia to North America, for later summer 2020. And we would certainly be ready to head back to our Asia-home before Christmas.

Then it happened…. The first wave of the global pandemic wreaked havoc on our travel plans. Both locally and internationally, flights were cancelled and no alternatives were offered for the time being.

Cancelled plans #1

We were okay with changing plans because we find great contentment in the life we are living. No, it isn’t fun cancelling plans or itineraries, but we knew that eventually we would rebook our tickets and reschedule plans to head home to Canada. And that’s exactly what we did. We rebooked long-haul flights which would get us in Canada the end of March. Exciting!

Then it happened! Canada implemented a new wave of restrictions to any and all travellers. And while we were willing to do whatever it took, we are mindful of cost versus value. Not that family isn’t worth every penny spent, but we could no justify a potential $8,000 expense on top of the already inflated prices of travel. So, with sadness we had to make the personal decision to cancel the travel plans again.

Cancelled plans #2

We were now feeling the disappointment and frustration of change. It was completely out of our control and we could not alter the circumstances that was dictating our plans. We felt powerless and at the mercy of, seemingly, chaotic shifts in life around us. So, the only thing we could control was our attitudes. Yes, it wasn’t without pain or tears or frustrations but we had to see the upside to all of these changes. For example, we could plan a local trip for rest and renewal at our favourite getaway, we could process our new business and visas without worry, we could keep our children in the place of routine and comfort. All good things!

But then it happened again and again and again. Five more times I had to reschedule plane tickets, cancel accommodation reservations, and tell our parents that things were once more on hold. But then it happened! I booked our travel to Canada, our government required hotel was booked, and airbnb was arranged, even a vehicle was all set up. We would be in Canada mid-July and enjoy the end of summer and fall with our families. What joy!

Cancelled plans #7.

It was truly devastating. Two weeks before we were supposed to travel everything fell apart. And I mean everything. In our local city we were in major lockdown. And even if we could get a dose of the vaccine, our kids were unable to travel. There were age restrictions, there were lockdowns implemented, and the local government made it near impossible for us to even consider leaving. Even the Canadian Embassy’s advice was, barring an emergency, we ought to just stay put and try again at later date.

Full transparency, the moment Husband and I spoke the reality that we would not be travelling in two weeks, my heart broke. I began the phone calls to cancel flights, I cancelled the airbnb, and then I called the hotel where we were supposed to do our first few days of isolation. As I am talking to the person at the front desk, I’m explaining our situation and requesting that we be considered for a full refund. And then it happened…. I lost complete control of my emotions and began crying on the phone with this complete stranger. I apologized to her for being so emotional and that I felt so silly for not being able to hone in my emotions. And I want to say here that the hotel employee was so gracious and kind. She was encouraging to me and understanding of our situation, and she even helped me to calm my spirit, even just for a moment. And yes, we were able to cancel with no financial penalty!

I hung up from that particular phone call and I sobbed. Sitting to my computer in my kitchen I put my head in my hands and I let myself sob for a good 10 minutes. My girl, M (age 3), came to comfort me, our helper cried with me, and then I knew I had to change my attitude once again. I could be sad for a moment but then I had to make the conscious decision to adjust my attitude. None of this was in my control and so I had to find it in myself to change. Yes, there was allowance for a season of disappointment, but then we had to pull ourselves out of that state and find the good.

Fortunately, we have been able to get to Canada, just a few weeks later than expected. But that’s for another blog. We had readjusted to another season of waiting when the inevitable happened….

Covid-19 found its way in to our home. I’ll share our experience in the next one.

J xo